(In)visible?

My life is time-shifted. And DVR is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

For someone who is more interested in explaining the physics behind the possible 'causal link' between New England's cold weather and the scandal of the deflated football than caring about the Tom Brady-Russell Wilson showdown, it is no surprise that I recorded the Super Bowl championship game mostly for the commercials. While playing the recording back, among the flurry of 'dad' ads, I do remember getting a chuckle out of the Nationwide Insurance ad featuring Mindy Kaling. The ad showed that Mindy has been treated like an invisible person by people and businesses for a long time, until Nationwide 'noticed' her. But it never occurred to me that there might be a 'minority women' angle to the invisibility theme in the ad, until my talented friend Meghana Joshi came up with the idea of collective blogging on this concept. Thanks Meghana for launching me into an introspective journey that took me back to 2001 in the beautiful island of Ocracoke in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

A group of us, three young couples in their pre-kid days, went to the Outer Banks in the Thanksgiving weekend in 2001. We were in the mood to splurge a little. So we went to one of the fanciest restaurants in the island for dinner the evening after the Thanksgiving Day. We were seated promptly. But, though we could see some of the waiters glancing at us and talking among themselves, for the longest time, nobody came to take our orders. Other 'mainstream' patrons, who came to the restaurant after us, were waited on almost immediately. I didn't have a word at that time to describe how we felt. May be 'invisible' was the word I was looking for.

Our story does have a happy ending though. Since the less experienced waiters were unsure about how to serve the brown-skinned aliens, finally the most experienced waitress stepped in. She was the epitome of professionalism. She apologized for the long wait, chatted us up, and made our entire dining experience an absolute pleasure ultimately. Sometimes it helps to be invisible so that the lesser opportunities do not crowd the way of the 'right' opportunity.

I must say though that I had to think hard to come up with a story that is relevant in the context of the topic of this blog. Either I have a blissfully short memory so that the experiences of being treated as an invisible entity do not tend to stick with me, or, I have not really felt invisible. And a big part of it could be attributed to the confidence and sense of visibility that comes through supportive upbringing, strong role models, and higher education attained in pursuit of a serious career. Forgive me if I sound pompous, but when you are the youngest person and the only woman in a room full of academics deciding which university gets a National Science Foundation research grant on Nanotechnology, you are the exact opposite of invisible. That was twelve years back when I was a post-doctoral research associate. And it hasn't turned for the worse. Now that I am one of the oldest students among a class full of bright law students with a median age of 24, I am anything but invisible when I engage in a Socratic exchange with my Professor. It is no different when I interview a prospective summer associate at my law firm, or when I talk to the Principal of my son's school about fundraising.

To me, Mindy Kaling is an actress with great comic timing who was cleverly used to portray a message favorable to the insurance company that paid for her gig. She is not a symbol of a systemic ill of invisibility for minority women. It will probably be a stretch if I say that the ad could convey the same message if Matt Damon felt invisible until Mindy refused to kiss him. But we are not as invisible as we sometime think we are.

P.S. Addendum on February 22, 2015:
May be Mindy redeemed herself, or at least Amex capitalized on the opportunity to go one up against Nationwide--judge for yourself.
"The Unlikely Leading Lady" advertisement featured during the Oscars:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYP7ejP92uo