My Name is Fan

The other day I watched “Ishqiya,” the latest Bollywood offering from the insanely talented Vishal Bhardwaj’s stable, and I was so impressed, that I felt the need to let all my social network friends know what a great movie it was. The obvious question is: how do I compare “Ishqiya” with the recent big banner productions, “3 Idiots,” and “My name is Khan” (MNIK). If you think you have got a clue from the title of this blog, then you may be in for a surprise.

On a cinematic experience scale, I rate “Ishqiya” above “3 Idiots,” followed by MNIK.

But this blog is not about which movie I liked the most. This blog is about whether I am any less of a fan of King Khan. The answer is a big thundering “NO”! I am not a fan because my hero delivers the brainiest or even the most entertaining movies—there are other people whom I genuinely admire to cater to that need—I am a fan because I intensely enjoy the evolving human connection with him. As Eve Ensler’s recent book’s title proudly declares, ‘I am an emotional creature.’ I have grown up and am still growing up watching, liking, and emotionally connecting with the person that Shah Rukh Khan(SRK) is through his films. This connection is more real than a fantasy, and more fantastic than reality—the perfect twilight zone that I have willingly created for myself.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I think at some level, this blog took shape in my head when I read a very well-written tribute to SRK by another blogger Suhel Banerjee, the blog post titled, “My Name Is Khan – An Unabashed Fan Post”. Suhel writes, “It's been a little over a day since I came back from the theatre after watching Sir's latest offering - My Name Is Khan. Since then I have made several well meaning and failed attempts to review the movie. That's when I realised that the idol worshipping fan inside me won't let the wannabe movie critic come out till he has had his say. First heart, then head as Sir famously said in so many of his movies.” Thank you, Suhel. I couldn’t have expressed it any better myself.

So what is it about SRK that is so appealing? He is not the most good-looking person on earth. I have seen him perform live on a stage show, and I’ll be honest, I was not swept away. He looked ordinary. He definitely looks better on screen or even in the still shots, when the camera closes in, and you get a glimpse of the energy bubbling inside him exuding through his eyes. I hate that he smokes. I worry that he will die of lung cancer. I hate when he tries to act oversmart, and makes a stupid joke. But I love when his eyes well up in a talk show on TV, talking about his mother, who had died before she could see her son become a superstar—his greatest regret in life. You get the drift. I feel involved.

The fact that he is rather limited in terms of his acting ability, even after so many years in the industry, is actually quite endearing. When he acts really well—for example, in “Chak De India” his work is superlative and beyond criticism—everyone is still pleasantly surprised. As Raja Sen, the movie critic at Rediff so aptly describes while reviewing MNIK, “We know his name. Each and every one of us. He's been the country's de facto Superstar -- a position which inevitably brings its share of can't-act brickbats, the kind Brad [Pitt] and Tom[Cruise] still face with every release -- for nearly two decades[.]”

Surprisingly, I do not have the same kind of unconditional indulgence for Kajol. Arguably, she is a much better actor than SRK. When I watched “Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge,” in 1995, I liked SRK and Kajol equally. But while Kajol still reminds me of the young girl that I was, SRK reminds me of the journey that I have had from 1995 till now. Unfair towards Kajol? Perhaps. Irrationally lenient towards SRK? Of course! That’s why I am a ‘fan,’ and not an unbiased connoisseur, when it comes to SRK.

Over the years, Shah Rukh Khan has transcended the stature of a star, or even the stature of a mere human being in my mind. He has become almost a concept, or may be an abstract theory that I use to explain some of my apparently weird logics or idiosyncratic thoughts, convictions and/or actions.

Let me elaborate with an example. Last November, a close friend and I went on to enjoy a girls-only trip in the beautiful coastal town of Mendocino, away from our families. Being eternally-jaded working moms, we were justfiably thrilled when the trip was drawing near. We had made time for a luxurious pedicure session, and had planned to take perfect vacation pictures of us relaxing with our legs stretched on a poolside lounger--the camera panning on our freshly-pedicured toes. But when we actually went to Mendocino, the holiday feeling was so immersive on its own, that taking pictures to prove that we were really having a good time seemed superfluous. That’s when I discovered, the pedicure was more than a pedicure---it was an embodiment of the excitement that we felt at the prospect of an upcoming vacation. Much in the same way, Shah Rukh Khan is more than a Bollywood superstar. He is an embodiment of the irrational but immensely pleasing sways of my mind. Coming back from the vacation, I updated my Facebook status as, “Pedicure is Shah Rukh Khan in Mendocino.” Readers were expectedly confused, but I knew what I meant :-)

My name is fan, and I am not shy about admitting it.